Inspired by Ntozake Shange’s Somebody Almost Walked Off With Alla My Stuff in “For Colored Girls (Who Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Was Enough)”. See:

Disclaimer: It’s meant to be a parody, so please, don’t take it too seriously lol. [Originally posted on Facebook on Nov. 8]

Somebody tried to walk away with alla my stuff
Expected me to sit there, smile sweetly, and just GIVE them alla my stuff
Figured since they’d done it time and again, it would be as easy as pie
Ha! Little did they know they had another thing comin’

Somebody tried to walk away with alla my stuff
But THIS time, I chased them down that street and beat them on the head
Latched my non-existent claws into their shoulders and hang on for dear life
Balled my fists into sledgehammers and hammer away I did
For the first time, second, and oh for thinkn’ there would be a third

Somebody tried to walk away with alla my stuff
And now I’m sittin’ on the floor of this jail, with nothin’ else BUT my stuff
My memories, my fears, my hopes, my dreams, my shoulda-coulda-wouldas, ALL of it
My notions, my judgments, my naivety, my experience, my love, my hate, my sorrow, my joy
And for the first time ever, my cruel, undeniable, in-your-face truth

Somebody tried to walk away with alla my stuff
And now they a-nursin’ in the clinic while I have the last laugh
Never did I know I could swing such a punch until they freakin’ tried to take all my shit!
And yes, I’ll probably lose it all before the darn trial is over
But damn, it never felt so good to whop an ass for tryna walk away with alla my stuff!

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Jemila Abdulai is the creative director, editor and founder of the award-winning website A media and international development professional and economist by training, she combines her business, communications and project management expertise with her strong passion for Africa. Besides writing and reading, she enjoys travel, global cuisine, movies, and good design.

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