Pitch dark. Either way you look at it, that’s all it is. Black, dark, uninteresting, uninspired.
You move your head to the right and you might as well stay in your initial position, nothing’s changed.
How ever did you come upon the depths of the Mariana trench?
Professor A. certainly wasn’t kidding when he said it was the lowest point of the earth.
But even he hadn’t the slightest idea of just how low it gets.
Battered and torn. Tattered and forlorn. A misguided grin creeps upon your face.
It wasn’t always like this.
Far from it. At one point, you were riding high, soaring to the skies.
Believed you’d landed among the stars.
And then, like all the others, you never saw it coming. Scorn reinstated.
And oh, what the downthrow it was.
Out flew the self-respect, in seeped the conceit
To hell with the morals, who’s even thinking values?
In that vacuum greed and self-satisfaction took seed
And boy, what a party they threw!
Eventually, it appeared on the surface, in plain day light for all to see
Neglect, insecurity, dishonesty – that trio wrecked havoc
Soon, the dollars, euros, eco- all the currency drained away
They say: “You will never lose women chasing money, but you will lose money chasing women”
Then why the hell had Ms. L. – who’d been there regardless of account balance – left?
The cronies were next. Damn it! You’d stuck your neck out for some of them!
Finally, the people who should have stuck around – your own flesh and blood – even they left
They didn’t leave, you did
So this is where delusion sets in.
You’re not delusional…confused maybe, but all your faculties are top-notch
Then why am I talking to myself? That’s it! I’ve lost it.
If that’s how you want to see it.
Look here me, myself and I – whichever one you are. Quit your nonsense!
That’s what I’m…wait, you listened. Nobody’s listened in a while.
Of course I listened. I’ve always listened. Can’t say the same for you though.
I’ll ignore that. Heavens, I’m talking to myself!
About time. It’s taken you long enough.
I’m whoever you choose to be.
I’m hope, faith, love. A few hours ago I was fear, despondence, and hate.
So if you’re those three, what are you doing in the depths of nothingness?
Question is: What are YOU doing here?
Me? I don’t know, I guess I got off track. Beats me.
Hey. You know, right? C’mon tell me.
Not with that tone, I won’t.
How can I be sure you’ll listen?
Do I look like I’m going anywhere else?
You have a point. You’re exactly where you need to be.
Aren’t you going to tell me?
How I ended up such a failure. How I lost it all. How… *Sobs*
I don’t think so…wait, you said I’m where I need to be. Are you mocking me?
Now you’re ready to hear the truth
Yes. If you’ll let me finish
Admitting your weaknesses is the first step toward empowering yourself
Listening to yourself is the first step toward knowing and loving yourself
With love, you shall always strive to sponsor the action of love
Bearing in mind that what you do unto another, you do unto yourself
Like I said, you’re deep. But what has this got to do with me?
I don’t understand. I was rich, now I’m poor. I had friends, now I’m alone. I had love, now…
At the top of the world, I thought I was unstoppable.
I stopped working myself, stopped improving myself. I became satisfied in and within myself.
Then I neglected myself. And once that top was sent a-spinning, it didn’t stop.
I became confused. Forgot about loving my fellow humans, for how can I do for them what I neglected to do for myself?
And then. Then, I became bitter because nobody’s reciprocated…Or so I thought.
What you do unto another, you do unto yourself
I hated myself, to the very depth and core. And then. Then I became scared that everyone else would find out.
So I covered it up with things. To make it seem like I was ok. But all along, I was screaming for attention.
My family and friends called my selfishness to my attention. I told myself they were jealous of my successes, the leeches that they were.
By the time I knew it, they’d left. Only, they had not deserted me as I assumed, but rather granted me space: space to refocus.
Hold your tongue. Words are powerful. Besides, we’ve already determined love still remains. For that alone, you are deserving.
Yes I am. Quick question.
How did love remain? After all that happened. All I did.
You know the answer. But I’ll remind you.
Love is all there is. God is all there is. He is never changing, unwavering, ever constant.
Even in the worst-case scenario, He is right there with you.
He’s the fluttering in your heart that produces hope. He is the song of your soul that sponsors joy.
And in the depths of darkness, He is the light to your lamp that sees you through.
I know right. He’s amazing.
So, why all this trouble, if He was there all along?
Because you – we – forgot. And to remind us, we had to take the long way home.
We had to sit in silence, because that’s when the memories of who we had been and could be resurfaced
Once again, we saw our weaknesses, and the desire to be the best we could be was reignited.
But most importantly, we saw the blessings He lay upon our path and re-realized that we are worth it.
And that’s when we opened our eyes and saw love staring back.
So are you.
I really do love you.
I know you do.
Hand in hand, you pick yourself up and look upon a crack of light shining through.
There was a door all along!
Still disheveled, still winking in pain, you stumble over.
Your current state matters not. What matters is where you’re heading.
With hope, love and faith, open the door to another chance. Go on.
Now all you have to do is take over the reigns, and sail on through.
[When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
– Alexander Graham Bell]
Written by Jemila Abdulai
All rights reserved.
Jemila Abdulai is the creative director, editor and founder of the award-winning website Circumspecte.com. A media and international development professional and economist by training, she combines her business, communications and project management expertise with her strong passion for Africa. Besides writing and reading, she enjoys travel, global cuisine, movies, and good design.